Megaman X Wars
by Matthordika
Summary: X and Zero are back in this all-new adventure! When the Maverick Hunters are lost in the middle of nowhere, they must try to stick together and find their way back home. Will they get home? What does Sigma have to do with all this? Only time will tell....
1. Episode 1

**MegaMan****X**

Wars 1

Created by: Matthordika

In the Year 20XX... In a coffee shop…

Megaman: Stop! Wily!

Dr. Wily: It's not Wily! Its super villain evil and diabolical Master Wily, too you.

MM: *ugh* I get it, Wily. Just stop whatever your doing!

DW: I'm getting a coffee! What do you expect! I'm going to lay a bomb!

Protoman: Ever realize how you're initials are D.W.?

Roll: I've heard of that name before!

MM: Lost me there. I think its some kind of girl's name.

PM: LoL

Roll: Stop saying LoL Protoman.

PM: But it's funny!

PM: D.W. is getting away.

DW: Not you too!!

MM: I'm here to stop you D.W.!

DW: From drinking my coffee?!?! Cutman, attack!!

Cutman: Right away super villain evil and diabolical Dorothy!

DW: Even my own robots hate me.

Megaman fights off Cutman in a Pokémon styled battled.

Cutman: I know D.W.'s supposed to say it but I will be back! That felt good.

Megaman: I defeated Cutman!!

MegaMan gets: Cutter!

Roll: Don't you already have that?

Megaman: You're right...

Megaman gets: Double Cutter!

Megaman shoots two scissors instead of one.

Later on at Dr. Wily's condo, DW is tinkering with his stuff...

DW: I hate Megaman... I hate Megaman... I hate Megaman... I ha- I'm hopeless.

Drillman: You could always create a portal sending him into... somewhere very far.

Dr. Wily: Or... I could always create a portal sending him into... somewhere very far!

Drillman[sarcastically]: You're a genius...

DW: Thank you Shadowman, you're getting an upgrade.

Drillman: I love starcasime!

DW: What was that?!

Drillman: Ummmmm... I... love you?

DW: Good! Now, to get started!

After hours of work, Dr. Wily made a portal that would send Megaman into somewhere very far.

DW: Now to hide it...

Megaman and Co. blast through a wall.

Megaman: I'm here to kick you're but!

Protoman: Butt.

Bass: Pervert.

Protoman: You're the pervert, pervert.

Bass: You wanna take this outside?!

Bass and Protoman start beating each other up.

Bass: And it's Bass [base]!

Megaman: He's getting away!

DW: Crap...

Megaman shoots Dr. Wily. Then he jumps on top of him blasts his head with a charge shot.

Protoman: You decapitated him!

Megaman: He was too dangerous to be kept alive!

Bass: THANK YOU! Now that that Dorothy is dead, I can rule the world! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

A blast takes off Bass's head.

Protoman: You decapitated him!

Megaman: He was too dangerous to be kept alive!

Bass: THANK YOU! Now that that Dorothy is dead, I can rule the world! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

Everyone leaves Wily's condo. His portal still there.

________________________________________________________________

100 years later... that's the year 21XX...

X and Zero are out killing or "destroying" [for the sake of young kids] mavericks (the "bad guys").

X: There are too many of them!

Zero: No one here leaves alive!

X [sulkingly]: But I wanna go home!

Zero [angry]: C'mon, X! Let's hurry!

X: Fiiiiiiiiiiinnneee...

X and Zero continue through the level until they reach the final boss door.

Zero [determent]: Okay, X.

X [annoyed]: Let's get this over with...

Axl appears out of nowhere.

Axl: Hi guys!!

X: Ahhhh!! A girl!!

Zero: No, that's just Axl.

X: Same thing...

Axl: I'm tired of being called a girl, so I'm gonna prove to you I'm a male by defeating the next boss!!

X: Alia does that all the time. These mavericks are easy!

Axl: I'll prove that I'm better then!

X, Zero and Axl walks in. X and Zero stay by the door while Axl goes to the center of the room to confront the boss. It was Chill Penguin.

Chill Penguin: Bah! I will beat you up!

Axl: Bring it! I've been waiting for this moment my whole life. Today is the day that I prove that I can beat a boss! Nothing can stop me now! I! Am-!

Chill Penguin attacks and destroys Axl. X and Zero stare.

CP: Who's next?

X: Zero.

Zero: X.

X looks at Zero.

Zero: All right.

Zero walks up too chill Penguin.

Zero: Boom.

CP: Wha-?

Chill Penguin explodes. X walks up too Zero.

X: How did you do that?

Zero: I dunno, I was just trying to scare him.

X: Whatever. Let's move on.

X and Zero go to the next room. In there, they find the portal DW created a hundred years ago.

X: What's that?

Zero: Let's turn it on too find out.

Zero touches it and gets sucked in.

X: Zero! No! Crap. Now he'll never know that his shoelace was undone. Hey look, flashy buttons like on Star Trek.

X pushes one and gets sucked in, too. He lands on top of Zero in the middle of nowhere.

X: Hmm… I seem to be in the middle of nowhere. I wonder where Zero is?

Zero [Muffled]: I'm under you.

X: I wonder where he is?

Zero: There's sand in my nose.

X: Maybe if I look around I can find him.

Zero: That would be a good start.

X: But where to begin?

Zero: I'm suffocating.

X: Shut up, Zero. I'm trying to think. Besides, you don't need air.

Zero: Oh, really?

X: Yeah.

Zero: Thanks, I didn't know that.

X: Your welcome. Now, to go find Zero!

Part one end.


	2. Episode 2

**Megaman X**

Wars 2

Created by: Matthordika

21XX… In the middle of nowhere…

X: Now, to go find Zero!

X started searching for Zero, who was following him the whole time.

Zero: X.

X: What?

Zero: Find Zero yet?

X: No, but I think I'm getting close.

Zero: Tell me when you do.

X: Okay, Zero.

X continues to look around, with no luck. He finally turns around and sees Zero.

Zero: Hey, you decided to turn around!

X: …

Zero: X?

X: …………………………………………………………………. Oh my gosh! I finally found you, Zero!

Zero: Great! Now that you found me, we can begin too look around and try to find out where the hell we are.

X: I think we're in hell.

Zero: what makes you say that?

X: The lava.

Zero: What lava?

X: The lava behind you.

Zero [turning around]: Wha- Ahh!

Lava falls on Zero, burning him.

Zero: Why didn't it fall on you?

X: I used action replay.

Zero: But I used gameshark!

X: That only works in water.

Zero: What?

X: There's a reason they call it gameSHARK!

Zero: You mean-

X: It only works in water levels. It was originally created for Super Mario Bros.

Zero: Fudge.

X and Zero continue to walk around aimlessly. They come across a sign.

Zero: A sign!

X: What does it say?

Zero: Look… behind… you… freak…

X [turning around]: What could be- oh. A city.

Zero: Hey, the sign told us what to do.

X: What ever happened to the good old days when we still had wooden signs?

X and Zero stare off into space.

X: It's not working.

Zero: We weren't around when they had wooden signs, so we don't have any memories of them.

X: That could be the reason.

Zero: Hey, look. A city!

X and Zero wander around the city. They come across a weird guy.

Weird guy: Hello, stranga.

Zero: Ah! It's the merchant!

X: Hello to you too, sir.

The weird guy opens up his coat, showing his belt. On it there were words.

WG: Pick one, stranga.

X: Um… Buy?

The weird guy opens up his belt

WG: What are you buyin'?

X: Wait, did you just?

Zero: Yes, he did.

X: Um… we have to go.

X and Zero ran off as fast as they could. They stop at a street corner.

X: That was too close.

Zero: Too close for comfort.

X: Yeah. Hey, look. Another person. Maybe she will be more of a help.

Zero: She?

X: Yeah…

Zero: But I hate girls.

X: Okay, I kinda get the loner thing. And I know that you liked Iris. But that doesn't mean you have to hate girls you sexist.

Zero: But they remind me of Axl.

X: …Okay. I understand. I'll just go-

But then the girl exploded.

Zero: Thank you!

X: Um… Zero.

Zero: Yes?

X: We could be next.

Zero: What?

An explosion appears right next to them.

Zero: What's going on?

X: We are under attack.

Zero: You are just realizing that?

X: You didn't know any better.

Zero: Yeah, I know.

A shadow covered them. Planes were flying above their heads. X and Zero ran for cover. They found a secret trapdoor in the ground and went down. It was all black inside, and was very, very, very small.

X: Zero, your hair is in my face.

Zero: Your helmet is in my face.

X: I can't move my arms.

Zero: There isn't enough room in here for the two of us.

Zero kicks X outside.

Zero: Hey, the light switch.

X: Aw, crap.

X begins running for his life. He hides in a random building.

Store clerk: Hello, how may I help you?

X: I need a place to hide.

Store clerk: Um… why?

X: The city is under attack.

Store clerk: If the city were under attack, wouldn't it be on the news?

TV: Breaking news! City is under attack!

Store clerk: You can hide in the backroom.

X: Thanks.

X goes and hides in the backroom.

Store clerk: Have a nice day!

The place blows up. The backroom remains untouched, though.

X: I've got to find a way out of this city and back home. I wonder how Zero is doing. He's probably scared.

Zero was playing poker with a random person.

Zero: Hit me.

The random person gives him a card.

Zero: Ha! I win!

X: I must do something about this attack. But what? [Goes into deep thinking] That's it!

X goes outside and wall jumps up a building. He starts shooting the fighter jets down.

X: There's too many of them. Maybe if I steal one…

X jumps on a jet, opens the hatch and throws the guy in it out. He climbs in, closing the hatch.

X: Now this is podracing!

X fly's around, shooting down jets as he goes along. After he finished, he swooped down and picked up Zero. They flew off into the desert.

An hour later, they arrive at a huge base. X lands the jet inside it and him and Zero jump out and destroy nearby people.

Zero: Why are we here?

X: This is where the jets came from.

Zero: how do you know that?

X: It says so on the side of the jet.

Zero: Oh. Why are we here again?

X: To stop these guys from attacking the city.

Zero: Ah… I see. This is where the fun begins.

X and Zero walk over to an elevator door.

Zero: This is starting to become like Star Wars.

X blasts the door down.

X: Let's go.

X and Zero are in the elevator as it lowers.

X: Are we going up or down?

Zero: Down.

X: You sure?

Zero: Yes.

The elevator stops and the door opens. X and Zero walk out to see an underground lair.

X: An underground lair!

Zero: Just like the batcave!

Part two end.


	3. Episode 3

**MegaMan****X**

Wars 3

Created by: Matthordika

21XX… In a mysterious headquarters…

X: An underground lair!

Zero: Just like the batcave!

X: Darn, you bet me to it.

Zero: Let's go explore.

X: Right.

X and Zero start looking around the place. X peeks over some crates and sees nothing. Zero peeks over the same crates, but upside down, and sees what X saw, upside down. They find a computer.

X: A computer!

Zero: Check their email!

X: Actually, that might help us.

Zero: I just wanted to see this guys dirty little secrets.

X: …

Zero: It could be a girl.

X: You're right. After…

X starts typing away.

Zero: You aren't even touching the mouse.

X: If I were to use a mouse, it wouldn't look professional enough. Besides, they do it on TV all the time.

Zero: But it's wrong on TV.

X: Is it getting us where we want to go?

Zero: Yeah.

X: Then why complain?

Zero: …

X: I'm in his email.

Zero: Project Iceman?

X: What's sector seven?

???: Hey, you!

Zero: Oh-no.

???: You're not aloud to be here!

X: Run!

Security guards started chasing them. They ran to the elevator, but were caught by guards coming off it.

Zero: Oh… fu-

X and Zero were thrown in jail.

X: Of course you know, this means war.

Zero: Did you know that each bar is only 3 inches apart?

X: We've been in here ten seconds and you're already measuring the distance between bars.

Zero: Well let's face it; we'll never get out of here! Not even dead.

X: It's not like you to give up so quickly, that's my job.

Zero pulls out a script.

Zero: Whoops. I read the wrong line.

X: Thought so. Anyways. Well let's face it; we'll never get out of here! Not even dead.

Zero: Don't give up so quickly, X. Where there's Will, there's a way.

X: this isn't Pirates of the Caribbean.

Zero: Well, don't give up! Besides, these walls are made of wood.

There is a moment of silence.

X: Even a human could break out of here.

X and Zero bust their way through the wall. There are three security guards standing in the way.

Zero: Do you guys just stand around here all day?

Security Guard1: Yes.

Zero: X?

X: I'll handle it.

X blasts all the guards down with his X buster.

Zero: These guys are idiots.

X: Let's get back to the city.

As X and Zero run, they find the same machine that sent them there in the first place.

Zero: Look!

X: Quick, get in it!

X and Zero dash then jump in and through it.

X: Forgot to turn it on.

X Walks up to the machine, but it disappears before he could touch it

Zero: It disappeared!

X: But how?

Back in the year 20XX… At DW's lab…

Megaman: I forgot the weird thing.

MM walks up to the portal and destroys it with his Mega Buster.

MM: That was easy.

And he walks away.

21XX… In the city…

X: That machine was our last hope.

Zero: No. There is another.

X: I guess I wasn't good enough to have used the machine before it disappeared.

Zero: Don't expect to have used it so easily. It was designed to disappear when one tried to touch it. Besides, we have yet to defeat eight mavericks.

X: You're right. So let's get started!

A map pops up with eight mavericks above and below it.

X: Whom should we start with?

Zero: Let's try Fire Snake.

X: This guy must have an obsession with animals and bugs as well.

Zero: Let's go!

X and Zero take off for Fire Snake's stage.

X: No time to waist!

X runs a bit and then comes to the boss's door.

Zero: Um… That was way too easy. Maybe this is one of those places where the level is easy but the boss is hard.

X: That's what you said about the last one we did.

Zero: Well, who really cares?

X: Good point.

X and Zero enter the boss room. A snake like maverick appears.

Fire Snake: I have waited so long for this day too come. You will perish!

X and Zero dodge a couple of attacks then both hit him at the same time.

Fire Snake: No! How could I be defeated so easily?

Fire Snake blows up. X and Zero strike a pose. They wait a few minutes and then teleport out.

Megaman X gets Fire shooter!

Zero gets Fire slash!

X: Don't I already have a weapon that shoots fire?

Zero: Yeah! An ability I already have!

X: Where should we go to next?

Zero: Hm… Well fire beats ice, so let's go fight frozen aardvark!

X: Okay.

X and Zero go to Frozen Aardvark's stage. They run through the stage until they reach the boss door, which wasn't that far.

Zero: Let's go!

X: Wait!

Zero: What?

X: We forgot to look around the stage for armour pieces!

Zero: Fine.

X and Zero run through the stage again in the opposite direction.

Zero: Happy now? We didn't find anything!

X: Better safe then sorry.

Zero: I hate 20th century earth sayings.

They go back to them boss room. Once inside, an aardvark like maverick appears.

Frozen Aardvark: You guys! I heard that you two killed Fire Snake! He was my best friend! I kill you!

Zero: Terrorist!

X: Quick, switch to fire weapons!

X changes colour.

Zero: Show off.

X and Zero dodge Frozen Aardvarks attacks and destroy him in one hit.

Zero: Okay, even with the weapons, this "adventure" is turning out to be too easy.

X and Zero pose again.

???: Smile for the camera!

X and Zero smile as their picture is taken. Then they teleport out of there.

Megaman X gets Ice shooter!

Zero gets Ice slash!

Zero: Aw, c'mon! It's the same thing just in a different colour!

Zero gets nothing!

Zero: I hate you.

Part three end.


	4. Episode 4

**MegaMan****X**

Wars 4

Created by: Matthordika

21XX… In a strange city…

Zero gets nothing!

Zero: I hate you.

X: You had your chance.

Zero: Lousy game designers…

X: Who should we go after next?

Zero: We already know where the enemy base is.

X: Good point. Let's head there.

X and Zero go to the mushroom kingdom.

X: Whoops. Not here.

X and Zero go to Zebes.

X: Not here either.

X and Zero go to (insert name of the village of the first level in RE4 here). There, Zero almost gets jumped on by zombies, but they teleport out too quickly.

X: Let's just walk.

X and Zero set out to the enemy's base. They arrive…

Zero: I recommend we sneak around to the backdoor. The stairs are always close to the back. Once we are there, we're going to have to take out all of the guards. Then-

X: Or we could just walk kick up the side.

Zero: Don't interrupt me. As I was saying…

Later…

Zero: Then after we snatch the coffee out of his hand, we throw it in his face and the use our fire attacks to burn him up. Sounds like a pretty good plan, eh?

X: No.

Zero: Well I'll just have to go over it again.

X: You think through your plan while I go get some Subway.

Zero: I want their lobster sandwich!

X: Got it!

X goes to subway.

Counter misses: Welcome to subway how may I help you?

X: I would like a lobster sandwich-

Counter misses: Would that be a meal?

X: I haven't finished placing my order yet. But yes.

Counter misses: What would you like to drink with that?

X [in head]: What would Zero want to drink with it? I guess he's watching his wait. But I know how much he loves 7 up. Hm…

X: Two percent milk.

Counter misses: Cookies or chips.

X: Chips.

Meanwhile…

Zero: But if I… No, no, no. I have to start all over.

Meanwhile…

X: I'll have a BLT. Root Beer to drink. And some chocolate chip cookies.

Counter misses: Would you like cheese on that?

X: No.

Counter misses: Meatballs?

X: No.

Counter misses: Tomato sauce?

X: No.

Counter misses: How about…

X: No! There is a reason they called it a "BLT"!

Counter misses: Really? I thought it was just a fancy name.

X: It stands for bacon lettuce and tomato.

Counter misses: … So you do want tomato sauce.

X: Doh.

Meanwhile…

Zero: Maybe if I get X too, nah! We would get caught for sure…what if…

Meanwhile…

Counter misses: That would be… 8.99

X: Um… I left my wallet back with Zero. How about a fire and ice shooters?

Counter misses: Um… I guess that would work.

Meanwhile…

Zero: That's it! I got it! Now where the hell is X?

X: Hello!

Zero: [screams] Don't scare me like that! You messed me up! Now I have to start all over again!

X: Um… I got you your lobster sandwich and 2% milk.

Zero: I hate milk.

X: Your welcome.

Zero: X, do you still have your fire shooter?

X: Ah… no.

Zero: Ice shooter?

X: Nah-uh.

Zero: What happened to them?

X: I swapped them.

Zero: For what?

X: These subs.

Zero: … Good deal.

So X and Zero sat down and ate all their food in the sunset.

Zero: X?

X: What?

Zero: I'm scared.

X: Drink your milk then.

Zero: but that's what I'm scared of.

X: It's more afraid of you then you are of it.

Zero: If you say so.

X and Zero go off to sleep. The next day…

Zero: X! X! Wake up!

X: What is it now, Zero?

Zero; I had this dream where, where…

X: Where what?

Zero: You know, I can't remember.

X: Oh well. Let's go defeat the last boss now.

So X and Zero climbed to the top of the building. They crashed in through the roof and into the final boss' chamber.

X: Where is the last boss?

Zero: Probably getting ready to make a flashy appearance.

X: But who could it be?

Sigma appears out of nowhere.

Sigma: not nice to meet you, X.

X: Sigma! What a major plot twist!

Zero: I never expected you to be behind all this!

Sigma: Actually I just took over. I killed the last guy and became the villain just to complete the Megaman X experience.

X: Oh, well. Thanks for um… Destroying the bad guy. But we're still going to kick your but!

Zero: Butt.

Sigma: Not this time, X! I shall win! Not with my new secret weapon!

Zero: We got rid of Michael Jackson already.

Sigma: Darn it! I will have to defeat you myself!

X: Quick Zero, attack pattern alpha!

Zero: What's that?

X: I don't know, just do something.

Zero: Lazy sword slash attack!

Zero swings his sword and misses.

X: Try going up to him.

Zero: But his chin might hurt me!

X: Then I'll do all the work. You'll probably just end up getting killed again. Zero?

Zero ran up to Sigma, who punched him, taking his head.

X: Zero died! Another plot twist!

Sigma: Now you will die too! Oh, crap.

Sigma looked down and saw a big hole in him.

Sigma: Where did this come from?

X: I shot you.

Sigma: Crap, you defeated me yet again! But I will be back!

Sigma disappears.

X I guess I should but Zero's head back on.

X walks over to Zero's head.

X: Oh, look! A penny.

X walks over to the penny and picks up, and then leaves, forgetting about Zero. Outside the base…

X: Well, another journey is done. All I have to do now is blow up this here base.

X presses a button and the base.

X: Wait a minute, I feel like I'm forgetting something. … Probably nothing.

X walks on back to the city. Meanwhile, Zero popped out of the rubble.

Zero: Whoa. It's a good thing my head fell on my body and somehow managed to reconnect itself.

Zero looks around.

Zero: Looks like X blew the place up. Come to think of it, I can't remember why we were fighting. … Ah well.

Zero got up and ran back to the city. When he gets there, he meets up with X.

Zero: Hey X.

X: Oh, Zero. I just remembered. We need to get back to our place. The machine that sent us here was destroyed in the past, preventing us from using it to get back home. So, I dug up this old time machine to send us back in time to prevent the destruction of the machine that sent us here.

Zero: How did you figure all that out?

X: Mr. Spock told me.

Zero: What?

X: I must go now. I have to find a time machine. Beam me up, Scotty.

X gets teleported away. A few seconds later he teleports back, with a time machine behind him.

Zero: Where did you?

X: Narnia. Now let's go!

X and Zero stepped into the time machine. They come out in Dr. Light's lab.

Zero: Oh my god, it worked!

X: Yes, Zero. Yes it did.

Zero: Hey, who is the little blue guy?

Megaman turns around.

Megaman: Holy crap!

X: Holy crap!

Zero: Holy crap!

X/Megaman: It's me!

Part four end.


	5. Episode 5

**MegaMan****X**

Wars 5

Created by: Matthordika

20XX… In Dr. Light's lab…

Megaman: Holy crap!

X: Holy crap!

Zero: Holy crap!

X/Megaman: It's me!

X: Except I'm older.

Megaman: W- who are you?

X: I'm Megaman X. And this is Zero, my partner in crime.

Megaman: But I'm Megaman!

Zero: Yeah, but he has an X next to his name.

X: We have come back from the future to prevent the destruction of an important machine that's vital to us.

Megaman: An important machine? Maybe Dr. Light can help.

X: Dr. Light? He's in this time era?

Megaman: Yeah, he created me.

X: He created me!

Megaman: Wait, if he created both of us, and you are from the future… Then that means you're my younger brother!

X: … Crap, I am.

Zero: Hahaha! I doubt my creator created anything before me. Not any reploids or robots anyways.

X: Sure you're design is based off of me. That makes me your older brother. Which also means that you're little boy blue's younger brother too.

Zero: Crap.

Megaman: Let's go see Dr. Light now.

Megaman, X, and Zero leave the room and go to another one and find Dr. Light.

Dr. Light: Hello there, Megaman. How's it going?

X: Dr. Light! I can't believe I get to meet you at long last!

Dr. Light: Who the heck are you? Some Megaman wanna be?

X: Actually I am Megaman. Megaman X.

Dr. Light: Non-sense. Megaman is standing right here.

X: I'm kind of your last creation. I've come back in time in search of a machine. This machine sent my friend Zero and I into the middle of nowhere.

Zero: Little Mega here says you could help.

Dr. Light: Um, yes. What exactly did this machine do?

X: It created a portal that sent us into the middle of nowhere.

Dr. Light: Nope, sorry can't help.

X: Crap. Are there any other scientists here that could have made it?

Megaman: Well, there is DW, my sworn enemy.

Zero: DW? What does that stand for?

Dr. Light: Dr. Wily.

Zero: That rings a bell…

X: Where can we find this Dr. Wily?

Dr. Light: I'm not too sure. Ah, Megaman. Why don't you and Protoman help X and Zero find Wily. Bass might be able to help as well.

Megaman: Sure can do.

And so Megaman, Protoman, X, Zero and Bass took off. They soon found Dr. Wily's fortress.

Zero: That was quick.

X: Does he always put "Dr.W" on his house?

Protoman: Yup.

Bass: Didn't you already decapitate him?

Megaman: He most likely found a way too come back too life again.

X: What are we waiting for? Let's go in and finish him off!

Zero: Aren't we supposed to be looking for his help?

X: Yeah. I just felt a need to say that.

Megaman: C'mon!

Megaman and co. burst into DW's fortress. They find Dr. Wily right away.

Zero: You! You're that creepy old guy that told me too kill someone.

DW: Kill that blue guy right there.

Zero: There are two blue guys.

DW: Then kill them both.

Zero: Why should I?

DW: Because… I am your father!

Zero: Nooooooooooo! No! No! Okay.

Zero punches X. Megaman jumps out of the way. Protoman and Bass moved behind Megaman.

Zero: X, I knew it would come down to this my whole life.

X: Don't listen too him! He only wants me dead!

Zero: And he created me to do just that!

Zero swings his beam sword at X, knocking him back outside.

X: Don't do it Zero!

Zero: I must!

X: Remember why we are friends. Remember!

Zero: I… I remember…

X: Don't kill your friend. Your best friend!

Zero has flashbacks of him and X fighting.

Zero: You're right. What have I become?

Bass: An emo freak.

Zero: What was that?

Bass: That's right. I just called you an emo freak!

Zero: I… am… not… emo! Spaz attack!

Zero disappears and reappears next to Bass. He starts slashing away at him.

Protoman: Wow. He really is emo.

Zero turns around with red eyes.

Protoman: Oh-no.

Protoman gets the same treatment as Bass.

Zero: Anyone else?

Drillman: Emo!

Zero slices up Drillman off-screen as Megaman and X just watch.

X: think we should stop him?

Megaman: Nah. He's doing my job for me.

Zero finishes up Drillman. His eyes turn back to its normal colour and he walks back too Megaman and X.

Zero: That felt good.

X: There's nothing left of them.

Zero: Exactly.

Megaman: Wily.

X: Right. Excuse me, Dr. Wily. Do you happen to have a machine that creates a portal that would send someone to a far away place?

DW: I did. But then Megabrat there destroyed it.

X: Oh.

Megaman: Whoops.

Zero: Can you build another?

DW: I think I can.

X: Good. Then we are going to need a time machine to get back to 21XX.

DW: I'll see what I can do. Make yourselves comfortable while I work. Cutman! Gutsman! Bombman! Iceman! Fireman! Elecman! Go find me parts to make another portal machine.

Cutman: Right away boss.

The six robot masters leave.

Megaman: I better go defeat the six robot masters again.

X: But they're only going to get some parts.

But Megaman had already left.

Zero: Ah, great. Now we have to hang around this dump.

X: Maybe if we go back to before the maverick outbreak, we can prevent Sigma from turning evil!

Zero: And have to deal with Axl again? No way.

X: Good point.

There's a moment of silence.

X: Wanna go get something to drink?

Zero: Okay.

X and Zero go to a store.

X: Hello there. What do you have to drink?

Counter guy: Nothing. This is an auto shop.

X: … So it is. We'll go somewhere else.

X and Zero go to a McDonald's.

Counter dude: Hello, how may I help you?

X: Um… Got anything to drink?

Counter dude: We have coke.

X: Then I'll have that.

Zero: So will I.

Counter dude: One moment please.

X: … I wonder how Megaman is doing?

Meanwhile… In Cutman's stage…

Megaman: Here again. How do I do this?

Megaman jumps over some walls and blocks.

Megaman: Yeah.

Enemy1: Hey, you!

Megaman: A bad guy!

Enemy1: Want some coffee?

But Megaman shot it.

Megaman: He could've been after my credit card.

Meanwhile…

Zero: I'm sure he's doing just fine.

Meanwhile… at Cutman's room…

Megaman: Crap. I'm not doing fine.

Cutman: I will destroy you!

Megaman: Not if I have anything to say about it!

Cutman: Do you?

Megaman: No, not really. I'll decapitate you.

Megaman shoots Cutman, taking his head off.

Megaman gets Triple cutter!

Megaman: Another cutter? They should change my name to "Cutman."

Meanwhile…

X: If he's anything like me, he'll probably be done three by now.

Zero: If he's anything like me, he'll probably be done five by now!

X: You wanna bet?

Zero: You're on!

Megaman: I'm done.

X: Already? How many where there?

Megaman: Six.

X: …

Megaman: …

Zero: …

Counter dude: …

Zero: You owe me twenty bucks.

X: Darn it!

Part five end.


	6. Episode 6

**MegaMan****X**

Wars 6

Created by: Matthordika

20XX… In a McDonald's…

Zero: You owe me twenty bucks.

X: Darn it!

Counter dude: You guys want your drinks or what?

X: Shut up, zitty. I have to give someone all my money.

Zero: I just made twenty bucks!

Megaman: Let's hurry back to Wily's. He might be done by now.

At DW's…

X: DW! Where are you?

DW: I have finished. The portal is now complete and so is the time machine.

X: Thanks. C'mon, Zero. It's time to go back.

Zero: All right! We're going back home!

DW: But first, you must get past me!

Megaman shoots DW's head off.

X: Is it always that easy?

Megaman: Yup.

Zero: Lucky…

X: There's no time to lose. Our friends are looking for us!

Zero: Or they could be watching TV, you never know.

X: You got a point. Let's go anyways. This place smells.

Megaman: Wait!

X: What?

Megaman: It was nice knowing you little brother!

X: And I'm glad I met you. Give Dr. Light my thanks for building me. And tell him one hundred years in a capsule is too long.

Megaman: What?

X: Just let him know. And now that we've dealt with DW-

Megaman: You didn't even do anything to stop him.

X: Shut up. As I was saying. With DW gone, he will never be able to make another creation again.

Zero: C'mon, X! The portal is closing!

X: I'm coming.

X and Zero go in through the time machine. Megaman watches them leave, and then walks away.

21XX… Back in the middle of nowhere…

X: Look! The machine!

Zero: We're saved! Quick, before it disappears again!

X and Zero dash through the portal created by the machine.

2005… In a house…

Zero: Where are we?

X: I don't know.

????: Ah…! Robots!

X: Who what where when why and how?

????: Get them away, get them away!

Zero: Just try to calm down! We're not here to hurt you!

????: That's what they always say on TV!

X: But we're not on TV.

????: Good point. Ah…! Robbers!

Zero: Crap! The fuzz is here!

X: We must run!

Zero: Running is for princesses. I. Am. Canadian!

X: No, you're Chinese.

Zero: How would you know?

X: Ah, hello! Everything comes from China.

Zero: I once read a sticker saying "Made in Beijing"

X: That's in China

Zero: Then why is it called "Beijing"?

X: … You have a point there.

Zero: I always have a point.

X: Shut up Zero.

Cop: This is the fuzz! Open up!

????: Now look what you've done!

X: Where is the secret door?

????: I don't have one.

Zero: Oh s-

The cops break down the door.

Cop: Hands up!

X: Or what?

X gets shot.

X: Ow… that hurt…

Zero: X! Are you okay?

X: I… I- I think I see a light…

Zero: Hey, you, cop! Turn the flashlight off!

Cop: Whoops.

X: Zero…

Zero: What?

X: If I don't… make it... tell my mother-

Zero: You don't have a mother.

X: Oh… Tell my father-

Zero: You don't have a father.

X: Brother?

Zero: Nope.

X: Sister?

Zero: Nope.

X: Girlfriend?

Zero: Nope.

X: God help me if you say boyfriend.

Zero: Well…

X lunges up and starts beating the crap out of Zero.

X: X… ANGRY!!

X turns into a giant robot and blows up the house.

X: Argh!!

Zero: What should we do?

????: He's your friend!

Cop: We must stop him! Who knows what will happen if he goes on like this?

Zero: Quick, to the Zeromobile!

A Zero styled car rolls up in front of them.

????: Holy car Zero!

X: Argh! X no like ants!

Zero: We only got one shot at this. Fasten your seatbelts!

The car's engine blows up.

Zero: And now we don't.

????: Wait, Zero.

Zero: What? Can't you see I'm in the middle of deep thought?

????: Ah, no.

Zero: Then shut up! I need to think!

Cop: Let him do this. I've seen what his kind can do.

Zero: Oh, good. I need to know. Can I put my feet behind my head?

Cop: Um… Well… That has never happened in a movie.

????: You can do anything if you put your mind to it!

Zero: You're right.

Zero jumps out of the car and towards X. He nearly makes it, but got hit from X's giant laser. Then falls to the ground.

Zero: Remind me to sue you later.

????: Okay.

Cop: I'm calling in the army.

Zero: I have a better idea.

????: What?

Zero: I call in the army.

Cop: You're crazy! It'll never work!

Zero: It will! Watch!

Zero starts singing the Survivor theme song.

Cop: What good will that do?

Zero: I haven't quiet figured that part out yet.

????: This is all your fault, Zero! Why'd you have to go ahead and tell him he has a boyfriend!!

Cop: Zero, you're under arrest!

Zero: And why?

Cop: Because I said so.

Zero: That is racist!

X [back to normal]: Hey guys.

Zero: Ah! Help me! They want to kill me!

X: And this is new to you why?

Zero: I just figured it out!

Ghastly voice: X…

Zero: Ah! A ghost!

X: Oh no! A ghost!

Cop: Who you gonna call?

X & Zero: Ghostbusters!

Ghastly voice: I am no ghost.

X: Then where are you? Who are you? What's for supper?

????: I'm making Roost Beef.

Zero: Your house just blew up.

????: I'm going to McDonald's tonight.

Ghastly voice: Do not ask any questions. And please, don't call the Ghostbusters.

X: But if you aren't a ghost, then you shouldn't have to worry about Ghostbusters.

Ghastly voice: I lied. I am a ghost. Now listen. If you want to go home, you must make me a B.L.T. and, um…

Zero: And what?

Ghastly voice: I'm trying to remember my next line.

Minuets go by.

Ghastly voice: Aha!! Now I remember! Would you like fries with that?

X: Ah-

Zero: Fries? Of course! It's the human thing to do.

X: We're not humans.

Zero: Yet.

X: We will accept. To Starbucks!

At Starbucks…

X: One B.L.T. please.

Counter gal: We don't have B.L.T.'s.

X: To another place!

McDonald's…

Zero: Not here again.

X: One B.L.T.

Counter person that is male: Five ninety-nine.

Zero: Five dollars and ninety-nine cents. No higher, no less.

Counter person that is male: Okay…

X: Great bargaining skills, Zero. No we don't have too pay five hundred and Ninety-nine dollars.

Zero: You're welcome, X.

Counter person that is male: Here you go.

X: Thanks. Now, to the ghost!

Ghastly voice: I'm right here.

X: I can't see you.

Ghastly voice: I'm right here.

X holds out the B.L.T. and starts waving it around.

X: Take it.

The B.L.T. starts floating in the air and then disappears.

Ghastly voice: Mmm…

Part 6 end.


	7. Episode 7

X: Hi, everyone. By now, the author of this comedy, Matthordika, has absolutely no idea as to what is going to happen next. He's been in this situation before, episode 6 is the result, and will most likely find a clever way around this problem. If something really bad like that is going to happen again, blame accursed writer's block. Thank you.

**MegaMan****X**

Wars 7

**Holy crap, I'm at 7 already!!!**

Created by: Matthordika

X: Take it.

The B.L.T. starts floating in the air and then disappears.

Ghastly voice: Mmm…

X: Now, take me home. It's for the good of mankind.

????: And womankind!

Zero: We get it! Why in every movie when someone says 'mankind,' must the female character say "and womankind?" It's the most used joke ever!

Ghastly Voice: No.

X: What?!

Zero: No way!

Cop: How could he?!

Ghastly Voice: Muwahahahahaha! Now you're all my human slaves!

X: We're not human! We're reploids!

Everyone but Zero stares at him.

Zero: They still use the term "robots."

X: We're robots!

Ghastly voice: Then fly.

X: Robots that can't fly!

????: I knew it! Discovery Channel lied.

Ghastly voice: Then you are not robots.

Zero: That's it. I'm calling the Ghostbusters.

Ghastly voice: All right, all right. I'll send you home.

Lots of flashing lights. X and Zero are gone when the lights stop.

????: Well that was easy.

Ghastly voice: … I'm ghost! Be scared!

???? and the cop walk away.

Ghastly voice: No one's scared of me anymore…

The year 21XX…Maverick Hunter HQ…

X: Yes! We made finally made it back home!

Alia: What are you talking about? We just teleported you back.

Zero: Oh, Alia… You don't know what it means to me to see you again…

SLAP

Alia: Pervert.

X: Alia! What's the status on Sigma?!

Alia: X! Can you hear me? X!

X: Just say it!

Alia: Sigma has declared all out war on us!

Zero: So… Sigma's now declaring war on the group he commanded. And it's all because of me…

X: Hey! I'm the emo reploid. Don't you ever go on the fan forums?

Zero: No. The Internet is for people who don't like to find things out for themselves lol

X: Ha! I knew it!

Zero: Darn!

Alia: There are eight new mavericks for you to fight.

X: This has Sigma wrote all over it.

Alia: He just declared war on us. Of course it's Sigma.

Axl: Hiya!

Zero's eyes shrink. He falls to the ground, in pain and terror. Slowly, the downed reploid looks up to see his fallen enemy standing in front of him. It hurts him. He can hardly move. Darkness sweeps over his body. He tries to keep his eyes open. His comrade, X, appears in his vision.

"Zero!" He thinks he heard X scream. "Hang in there! It'll be all right!" But Zero's eyes shut. The blue light on his head darkens. The boobs on his chest turn off. Everything seems to stop. Red covers his vision. The colour of fire. Fire is in hell. This must mean that Zero's going to hell. So Zero must be dying. That is his final thoughts. That is his legacy.

X: Zero! Wake up!

Zero: W-What? I thought I died.

Alia: You did, but X revived you again.

Zero: Good. Axl is so not the last thing I wanted to see.

Axl: How's it going?

Zero's eyes shrink. He falls to the ground-

X: I'm not reviving you again.

Zero: Aw, fine.

X: Now, c'mon! We've got a maverick to fight!

X and Zero teleport away.

Axl: Hey! What about me?!

Alia: Yeah! Why Am I stuck with him!

Axl: Oh, shut up.

The level that X and Zero teleported to…

Zero: I'm so killing Axl when I get back!

X: There's no time for that now. We must move on!

Zero: Give me two seconds to go on ahead.

X: Why?

Zero: When you come I'm magically already at the boss.

X: All right.

Zero leaves.

X: I guess I better get to the boss… Hey! Ice cream!

X goes in the opposite direction. At the boss room…

Zero: C'mon, X. Hurry up and get here. I'm tired of waiting. Who's the maverick this time?

Horned Rose: I'm Horned Rose! Fear my power!

Zero: Why don't you go write your will?

Horned Rose: I'm new, so it'll take you guys a few tries to beat me.

Zero: Good point.

Wherever X may be…

X: Hi. I want…

Sees 'Death by chocolate.'

X: Super Kidz!

Ice cream man: Here you go.

X: Thanks!

X walks away.

X: Boy oh boys. I sure do love Ice Cream. I wonder how Zero's holding out? Holy crap! I forgot about Zero! Now I have to revive him again…

At the boss room…

Zero: Okay, look. I have to be revived again because X and me split up. So I need you to ki-

Horned Rose kills Zero.

Wherever X is now…

X: I bet he's okay this.

Alia: X! Can you-

X: Yes I can f***** hear you!!

Alia: … Did you just swear?!

X: That's it! Screw Sigma! I'm coming after you!

Alia: But I have the enigma!

X: So why don't you just use it on Sigma?

Alia: Ah…

Axl: Don't worry, X! I'll kill her for ya!

X: I hate everyone… I hate myself… I am emo…

X holds up a knife, and then brings it to his wrist.

X: Cut!

The knife breaks.

X: Aw, man. I'll just go after Sigma.

And so, X finally made it to the boss room, killed the maverick, and revived Zero. Maverick Hunters HQ…

Zero: I have really got to stop dying. Now where's Axl, I need to kill him.

X: I've already done that.

Zero: Shucks.

-Part 7 end-

Zero: Wait a second. Just hold on. This episode is relatively short compared to the last one. And I don't wanna-

-Part 7 end-


	8. Episode 8

**MegaMan****X**

Wars… gosh. 8?

**Really, guys? You like it **_**that**_** much?**

Created by: Matthordika

Zero: I have really got to stop dying. Now where's Axl, I need to kill him.

X: I've already done that.

Zero: Shucks.

X: Alia, what's our next mission?

Alia: You chose! There's…

Zero: Why can't we just go up to Sigma's base?

Alia: Bah! It's "Sigma's Palace!" Oh, crap.

X and Zero throw Alia into the brig.

Vile: Come to reprimand me in person, did you?

Alia: C'mon, guys!

X: We will not allow a follower of Sigma to guide us.

Zero: Maverick Hunters only!

They shut the door.

X: Let's go, Zero! For everlasti-

Zero: Don't you dare.

Hours later…

X: I want to go here!

Zero: But we got the Rose shooter so we should go here!

X: But here looks prettier!

Zero: Argh! Why can't we do what I want to do!

X: Why can't we do what I want to do!

Zero: You know, you're the hardest person to work with ever! I hate you!

X: I hate me more!

Zero: Bah! Humbug!

Zero walks away.

X: Y-You sees if I care that you left me! Oh… Poor choice of words…

[Play cued song "So you had a bad day"]

X: Why is it always me? Why am I the only reploid who goes through this kind of stuff? Why me?! Why?!

X walks down the street, alone and tired. The rain falls on his face. The rain on his optical sensors blurs his vision. A car driving by splashes him.

[Stop cued song]

X: Hey, you! Get back here!

X shoots his X Buster! It hits the car's wheel! Car has been paralysed! X creeps closer. Car driver turns out to be Alia!

X: Oh, its you. … Oh! Its you! How did you escape?

Alia: You forgot to lock the door.

X: Vile! I knew it.

Alia: Ah, actually it was-

X: I guess I wasn't strong enough to lock him up.

Alia: I did it, you stupid son of a no good mother-

[Swearing is not good for younger readers]

Alia: -loser!

X: Alia… That hurt. If you wanted to say something, you should've raised your hand.

Alia raises her hand.

X: Yes?

Alia: I hate your guts!

Average XxAlia fangirl: Nooooooooooooooooo………………..!!

X: You! You! You! … Bah! I'm so disappointed in you right now. If only- ah, crap she got away.

Alia races away in a car with X following closely on his hover bike! Alia takes out a gun and starts firing at X, but hits the green biker dude instead.

Green Biker dude: I just came into the series! Help me fanboys!

Tons of fanboys come to Green Biker dude's aide. He still dies (sorry).

X: Alia get back here!

Alia: Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

X: Watch out for that-

Alia slams into Flame Mammoth.

X: Maverick.

Flame Mammoth: Argh! You hit me hard! I crush you!

Alia: Yeah right. Like even a Maverick would ever hit a girl!

SLAM! Yeah, Flame Mammoth crushed her.

X: Alia! Alia! Alia! Alia! Alia! … Alia!

Alia: X, I only wanted to reign supreme over everyone else. I wanted a world where only I rule.

X: Alia! Hang in there! I need to throw you back into the cell!

Alia: X, I… I…

X: You… You…

Flame Mammoth: I'm getting away.

Alia: I just wanted to say that… That you snore…

Alia **dies**.

X: Alia! Alia! What am I snoring fooooooooooooooooooooooooooooor?! This can't be happening! I thought Dr. Light said that I wouldn't do stuff like that!

X stands up. He looks straight at Flame Mammoth.

X: Flame Mammoth…

Flame Mammoth: Oh no.

X: Thanks for taking care of Alia for me! I won't come after you for a month now.

Flame Mammoth rolls away.

X: Well, that takes care of that. Now, where was I? …

Meanwhile, at Sigma's Palace…

Zero: Sigma! I'm going to kill you for good!

Sigma: What? You can't kill me yet! I'll win!

Zero: Not if I have something to do about it!

A TV screen shows P2 is a winner.

Zero: Told you.

Sigma: Ah, shucks. I'll just have to practice more. Wait, why are you here anyways?

Zero: That, my friend, is a good question.

Sigma: … Did you just call me 'friend?'

Zero: Whoops.

Sigma hugs Zero.

Sigma: You're my first and bestestest friend ever! We'll always be BFFs!

Zero: No! I have a girlfri, oh wait. No I don't. No!

Sigma: You'll never leave this place, ever! We shall stay here and play my Playstation forever!

Zero: Ha! I enjoy the PS2!

Sigma: I'm talking about the PS3.

Zero: No! Nintendo is so much better…

-End of Part 8-

(Hells yeah its short!)


	9. Episode 9

**MegaMan****X**

Wars 9

Created by: Matthordika

Zero: Ha! I enjoy the PS2!

Sigma: I'm talking about the PS3.

Zero: No! Nintendo is so much better…

Sigma: C'mon, Zero! LBP fudge the what!

Zero: I hate sackboy!

Zero takes out his Z-saver and cuts off Sigma's arm.

Sigma: No! Do you know how many times I had to put that thing back on?!

Zero: 568747.45.

Sigma: Wrong! Its… 568747.45. Darn it.

Zero runs up towards Sigma and leaps in the air.

Sigma: Zero, you're a no good son of a-

Zero brings his Z-saber down on Sigma, splitting him in half.

Sigma: Mad… Scientist…

Zero: You don't dare ever mention the PS3!

Armoured Armadillo: Look! He killed Sigma! We're free! If we're lucky, there might be a Wii left on store shelves! Yay!

A bunch of mavericks run off to the local Gamestop.

Gamestop clerk guy: Look, I'm sorry. But we've run out off Wii systems to sell!

Armoured Armadillo: But we mavericks have been long time supporters of Nintendo.

Tornado Man: Uh, speak for yourself. I've always been more of an Xbox fan.

Armoured Armadillo: That's because you're green.

Tornado Man: are you accusing me of being colourist?!

Armoured Armadillo: No, we're accusing you of being the colour of slime.

Tornado Man: Uh! I've never been offended as such before in my 100 years of living.

Storm Owl: The clerk is getting away!

Storm Eagle: Get him!

The mavericks chase the clerk.

Back at Maverick Hunters HQ…

X: Layer!

Layer: What is, X?

X: You're now taking over Alia's job and yours.

Layer: What? I can't do both at once!

X: Alia could do all three of your jobs at once. So you can do hers.

Layer: Fine. But I get double the payment.

X: You don't get paid.

Layer: … So I don't.

X: What's the situation?

Layer: There are mavericks going after a store clerk.

X: How many hunters do we have?

Layer: Two.

X: Who?

Layer: You and Zero.

X: What happened to our army!

Layer: They all went maverick in the first game.

X: Darn it! I'll go after them. Send Zero, too.

Layer: Right away.

So X and Zero meet up again.

Zero: X! You don't know what I've been through!

Zero runs up and hugs X.

X: Zero…

Zero: X…

Fangirl: Oh yeah… Just as I imagined.

X: Hey! Get off me!

Zero: What the hell?!

X: She did it!

Zero: for the last time! We are not gay!

Fangirl: well Alia and Layer are not lesbians!

Layer: Well, actually…

X: There's no time to argue right now! We need to get those mavericks before they get that clerk!

Zero: Let's go!

Danananananananadanananananananadananananananana Batman!

X: We got 'em all!

Zero: Another job well done.

X: Another righteous act.

Zero: Oh, that's a good cliché.

X: Really? Thanks.

Layer: Good job you guys. Now return to base so we can party hardy and get drunk!

X: We're reploids. We can't get drunk.

Layer: Oh… That's too bad.

Zero: With all the mavericks gone, what do we do now?

X: I think its time for a flashback episode.

Zero: sure the episode is almost over.

X: The episode is certainly not-

-Part 9 End-

(Sorry for ending shorter then usual. It was in the name of the joke)


	10. Episode 10

X: I think its time for a flashback episode.

Zero: sure the episode is almost over.

X: The episode is certainly not almost over. Heck, it's just beginning!

**MegaMan****X**

Wars 10 I have surpassed the X series itself

Created by: Matthordika

At Maverick Hunter HQ…

X: Let's take the time now to look back over our adventures, from our first game to right now.

X takes out a scrapbook.

Zero: You scrapbook?

X: Why else did I join the scrapbooking club?

Zero: You go there too?

Layer: Hey, I remember that!

X: That's pre-first game.

Layer: Oh…

Zero: Hey, look! That's the scene were Sigma totally betrays us and blows the city to smithereens. Great times. Great times.

X: Oh, and there's that scene were-

Zero: Okay, that's enough.

Zero grabs the scrapbook and burns it.

X: Hey! I spent hours on that!

Zero: Well, now its scrap.

X: Oh, haha. That's totally funny.

Everyone stares at him.

X: No, really. It is funny.

Signas: X!

X: What?

Signas: You must go to the mystical forest and find the magic stone of earth.

Zero: Okay, even RPG's are more creative then that.

Layer: Don't you dare make fun of Final Fantasy!

Zero: I just did.

Layer: Huh! I'm leaving!

Layer leaves.

X: Zero. We mustn't delay any longer. It's time to go.

Zero: Right behind you, buddy 'ol pal!

And so, X and Zero head to the forest.

Zero: wow, it sure is dark in here.

X: Zero, turn on your headlights.

Zero flicks a switch on his back, turning on his headlights.

Zero: That's better! Great idea, X!

X: Why, geez whiz! Thanks Zero!

Zero: Your welcome, X. But, I hate cheese whiz.

X: I said _geez_ whiz.

Zero: No, you said cheese whiz.

X: I know what I said, Zero.

Zero: Okay, X. I'm sorry for arguing with you.

X: That's okay, Zero. Now, let's find that stone of fire.

Zero: He said stone of _earth_.

X: Let's not do this again.

Zero: Good idea, X.

Hours later, X and Zero finally reach a pedestal with a stone on it.

X: We made it!

Zero: All right! Grab it, and let's head back!

X: Wait. It might be booby-trapped!

Zero: Those are the best kinds! Grab it!

Zero grabs the stone before X could do anything about it.

Zero: Ha! I grabbed the stone before you could do anything about it.

X: Zero, you moron!

Zero: You need to work on your comebacks.

X: Look what you've done!

Zero: What have I d- Oh my gosh.

The ground around and beneath them was gone.

Zero: What are we standing on?

X: Thin air. It's on of those cartoon moments were we just stand there before-

X & Zero: Ah!

They fell.

Zero: What are we going to land on?

X: How am I supposed to know? You're the calm and know-it-all sidekick that everybody loves!

Zero: Oh, yeah. Well, I bet we are going to land on a giant trampoline.

X: That's crazy!

X & Zero land on a giant trampoline. They bounce off to the ground.

Zero: Apology accepted.

Mysterious and strangely recognizable voice: Well, well, well. Look who we have here.

Zero: There's only one of you.

X: Sigma!

Mysterious and strangely recognizable voice: What? No! I am Colonel!

Zero: Colonel.

Colonel: What?

Zero: No, I'm just repeating what you said. Colonel.

Colonel: What is it?

Zero: I'm just saying that of which you had just stated. Colonel.

Colonel: Look, if you have something to say to me then just say it!

Zero: I'm not asking you anything. I'm just saying your name.

Colonel: I know what my name is! How dare you call me stupid!

X: Great job, Zero. You just pissed him off.

Zero: I don't eat or drink, so how could I pee?

Colonel: I'm going to kill you!

X: We defeated you before, and we can do it again!

Colonel: I have a new strategy.

Zero: Oh, yeah? Well so do we!

X: We do?

Zero: I hope so.

Colonel: Very well. Watch this! Colonel… PWANCH!

Colonel hits X. X is sent flying.

Zero: Oh my gosh! You totally copied Ganondorf!

Colonel: So. You copied that other dude.

Zero: What other dude?

Colonel: That one on that show.

Zero: I'm going to need a bit more then "that show."

X: I'm back. Now, we take him on together.

Zero: I'll take him on right now!

X: No, Zero!

Zero runs right up to Colonel. Colonel swings his sword, cutting off a chunk of Zero's hair.

Zero: You dare!

Colonel: I dared!

Zero: I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna kill you!

X: Zero, calm down.

Zero: I'm not going to calm down! I spent years working on that hair! And now look, it's gone!

Colonel: And I'd cut it again! I will cut it again!

Colonel cuts off more off Zero's hair.

Zero: You stupid son of a-

We interrupt this program to bring an important news bulletin.

X: Zero! How dare you use such language! Kids can't go hearing "stupid son of a gun!" Say "You bad guy." It makes things more appropriate.

Zero: "You stupid bad guy?"

X shakes his head.

Zero: I'm really sorry, man. It was wrong of me to say such things. Can you find it in your positronic brain to forgive me?

X: … I guess…

Zero: Thanks man. Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. I'M GONNA KILL YOU COLONEL!

Colonel: No you're not.

Zero: And why is that?

Colonel: Because if you kill me, then I'll have no choice but to kill you.

X: Zero, we must take that into consideration.

Zero: If he's dead, how could he kill me?

X: Sure, we already killed him and here he is, cutting off your hair.

Zero: That is true. Give us a minute.

X and Zero go talk in a corner. Colonel drinks some coffee. Blue birds go flying through the air. The summer breeze sweeps through the streets. That last couple of lines sounded like lyrics. What a perfect opportunity to advertise me and my friend's song, Waffle Man. It's quite funny, actually. Oh, X and Zero are done.

Zero: After long thought, I've decided to not kill you.

Colonel: So you don't mind that I cut off your hair?

Zero stabs Colonel and freely beats him up in a way so violent that it'd be inappropriate for No More Heroes, the Wii game.

X: Zero, violence is not the answer. Sharing and friendship will always be the better path.

Zero: And where has that got you in life?

X: It killed you a few times.

Zero: Ah, fu-

-Part 10 end-


	11. Episode 11

**MegaMan****X**

Wars 11

**Two 1s instead of 1 1.**

Created by: Matthordika

X: Zero, violence is not the answer. Sharing and friendship will always be the better path.

Zero: And where has that got you in life?

X: It killed you a few times.

Zero: Ah, fudge. Ya got me there. I'm sorry, man. I'll do better next time.

X: Promise?

Zero [hesitantly]: I promise.

X: I accept your promise.

Zero: Now how do we get out of here?

X: I say we try the door with the exit sign.

Zero: You know that it's a trap.

X: But it's the only door.

Zero: But it's a trap.

X: I like your logic. Then we shall wait here until we come up with a solution.

After hours of waiting…

Zero: We've been waiting for a while. How has it been?

X: I lost count after four hours.

Zero: How do you know that it was after four hours if you couldn't remember the time?

X: Who said I couldn't remember the time?

Zero: You did!

X: Preposterous! I would never forget what I said!

Zero: It is not preposterous.

X: I never said it was preposterous.

Zero: Let's just call for help.

X: Or we could leave through that non-booby trap door.

Zero: Valid point. Let's go pal.

X: Let's go, friend.

X and Zero exit the place back into the forest.

Zero: What were we doing here?

X: Something to do with a stone.

Zero: Do you have a stone?

X: No.

Zero picks up a stone off the ground.

Zero: Let's go!

Back at hunter base…

Signas: Did you guys get the stone?

Zero: Here ya go, gramps! All fresh and new!

Signas: The stone I'm looking for has ancient marking wrote across it.

X takes a sharpie and writes on the stone.

Zero [whispering]: What did you write down?

X [also whispering]: U got pwn'd by da Ultimate underscore dark underscore master 15225, n00b!

Zero [still whispering]: Shakespeare?

X: 1337. [Oh, yeah. He's whispering]

Signas: Finally, I have the stone of immortality!

Zero: Immortality? You're a reploid, you're already immortal!

Signas: Yes, but it sells well on Ebay.

X: Don't we get any money? We went and found it!

Signas: Ah… BLASTOFF!

Zero: Blastoff?

The floor around Signas lifts up into the air, taking Signas with it.

Zero: Wow. Just like in Metroid Prime…

X: He's getting away!

Zero: Or maybe it's just like that elevator from Wily Wonka…

X: Zero! We have to go after him!

Zero: Shut up! I'm speculating!

X: Leave that to the fanboys! We have an elevator to catch!

Inside an elevator…

X: What ever happened to elevator music?

Zero: Well, you see. Elevator music was originally used as a means of attracting less people and making them go away, specifically aimed at drug addicts and prostitutes. However, they stopped using elevator music because people started to enjoy it and it started to cost to much during the terrible economy.

X: How do you know that?

Zero: Wikipedia. I looked it up on my ipositronic brain.

X: Ah. They're making a new one.

Zero: Really? How much storage?

X: 648485235773.745 GKB.

Zero: Oh. I thought it was going to be a bit more.

X: Not much of an upgrade, is it?

Zero: Not really. Still more then Positronic XP 21XX.

X and Zero finally reach the main level. They rush past everyone and head outside.

X: Crap! He got away!

Zero: Told you we should've taken the stairs!

X: Next time we'll take the stairs.

Zero: Apology accepted. Anyways, he can't stay away for long. This is where he works.

X: We'll be waiting. You here that, Signas! This means WAR!

-End of Part 11-

-Wait, it's way to early to end here! -

Zero: I don't think he can here you.

X: At least I tried.

Nick: Guys! Important update!

Zero: Who are you?

Nick: I'm nick. I'm here to replace Alia as a navigator.

X and Zero stare at Nick strangely.

Nick: What?

X: I thought only female reploids could be navigators.

Nick: But I'm smarter.

Zero: A guy is smarter…

X: How strange…

Nick: Ah… Anyways. As it turns out, Sigma is not dead!

Zero: I thought we already established that.

Nick: I didn't know that.

X: Go do some homework, kid.

Nick: I already did, mister X.

Zero: Not enough, apparently. Go do some more.

Nick: Right away, master Zero!

Nick leaves.

Zero: Ha! He called me master and you mister!

X: Dang it. I thought I said I want to be called "sir!"

Zero: That's just too bad.

X: I guess it is. Anyways, let's go after Sigma.

Zero: Very well. I need to get revenge on him.

A huge evil smirk comes across Zero's face.

X: Zero! Snap out of it! Let's go!

X walks away.

Zero: Well, excuuuuuuuuse me, princess.

X and Zero set off to the location of their destination, Sigma's Palace. Upon arrival, they get past all the mavericks and find Sigma.

X: Sigma! We're here to kick your butt once again!

Zero: Wrong! I'm here to kick you're butt again!

Zero dashed up to Sigma and violently slashes him up into tiny bits and pieces.

X: That was quick.

Zero: I used Action Replay.

X: Ah. Well, now that that's over with, let's stare out over the ocean.

X and Zero stare out over the ocean.

Zero: Hey, look! An iceberg!

X [leaning out]: Really, where?

Zero pushes X over the edge.

Zero: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Oh no.

The cliff he was standing on crumbles underneath him, and he falls into the ocean.

-Part 11 End, for real-


	12. Episode 12

X: Crap! He got away!

Zero: Told you we should've taken the stairs!

X: Next time we'll take the stairs.

Zero: Apology accepted. Anyways, he can't stay away for long. This is where he works.

X: We'll be waiting. You here that, Signas! This means WAR!

**MegaMan****X**

Wars 12 Insert awesome title sequence

Created by: Matthordika

This episode's theme: Jokes (WTF is right)

It has been… forever… The leader of the Maverick Hunters, Signas, has escaped with stolen property of hunter X and Zero. Now, they wait. He must return sooner or later, for he can't run for eternity. But then again, he is a reploid. Therefore he doesn't really need to comeback to work. He can just go to some other part of the world and a perfect life there, maybe get married and have a few kids. Get a nice home, a peaceful job. Life and die a happy life while everyone he knew back at Maverick Hunters HQ slowly died one by one as they are hopeless without their leader. But why would he care?

Actually, Zero then inherited the role of leader. X finally defeated Sigma once and for all. Alia and Layer became lesbians for fan service. Vile returned from the dead to do some community work. After intense and long hours of study, scientists have discovered that Lumine was, in fact, a guy. Also, there's been a recent breakout in sheep flu.

At Maverick Hunter HQ…

Zero: Well, X. It's been two days since Signas has fled, and no one has found him yet.

X: Look, we're really trying, but from some reason he isn't at any of the places you told us to look in.

Zero: What? I was certain that he'd be at the dog park!

X: Maybe we should check somewhere else?

Zero: I have a better idea! I think that maybe we should ch-

X: That joke has already been used.

Zero: Dang! I though for sure that no one has used it before! Has anyone used it in a MegaMan X comedy?

X: Yes.

Zero: Darn it! Well, I better go back onto the interweb-

X: Internet.

Zero: -and memorize more jokes to use next scene.

X: You won't be in the next scene.

Zero: Says who?

X: Well, you see. His name is-

Scene 2: At the dog park

Signas: Darn it! It's those Maverick Hunters again! Shouldn't they be hunting mavericks?

Vile: Well, they consider you maverick now.

Signas: What? I'm not maverick! Wait, why are you here?

Vile: I have to clean up the place.

Signas: It's a dog park, what could is there to clean- oh. I see now.

Vile: Yeah, it stinks.

Signas: It sounds like a crappy job.

Vile: That was a crappy joke.

Signas: Well what do you know about jokes?

Vile: I'm part comedian.

Signas: Tell me something funny! I want to hear a good joke!

Vile: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Signas: Oh, c'mon! You can do better then that!

Vile: Fine. Knock-knock.

Signas: Who's there?

Vile: Screw.

Signas: Screw whom?

Vile: Your mom! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha… ha…

Signas: Dude, not cool. Not cool.

Vile: Well, you just don't appreciate the humour of the joke.

Signas: It's lame humour.

Vile [mockingly, like I really needed to point that out]: _It's lame humour_. Well that just shows how much you know.

Back at Maverick Hunter HQ, or MHHQ for short, or maybe even MHQ…

Zero: X, you and you! I need you to go to the dog park and look for Signas!

You1: But there's an attack over at-

Zero: Shut up! You're not supposed to talk for budget reasons. You're the no body who dies somewhere in the show.

You1 just looks down with a sad face.

X: We'll, ah, get right on it?

Zero: So you will. Now march!

At the dog park…

X: Okay guys, this is where we look.

You1: Hey, look! A puppy- ah!

The dog bites You1's face, killing him.

X: You1!

You2 bends down and looks at the dead body.

You2: He's dead, X.

X: He lived a short at happy life.

You1: Hey guys, I'm still alive!

You2 punches You1.

You2: Like I said earlier, dead.

X: How many lived must we loose until Signas is found?

You2: One.

X: How do you know that?

Some energy beam shoots You2.

X: Ah! Not you too!

You2: X, I may die here, but I shall live in… my music…

X: You2! Wait, what music?

But he was dead.

X looked around and saw Signas trying to sneak off.

X: There you are! I've finally found, Signas!

Signas: Well, here I am. You finally found me, the great Signas.

X: At the end of this day: one shall stand, one shall fall!

Signas: That'll be you who falls, X!

X: But I have something you don't! Hadouken!

Signas: But that only works on enemies and bosses!

X: You're the boss of the Maverick Hunters!

Signas: But I am no longer, so therefore I am no longer a boss! Zero is!

X: You're right! How do I beat you!

Signas: You'll never figure out that my giant shoulders are my one true weakness!

X: But you just told me!

Signas: Darn! That's why I hate these long conversations anime characters have before battle!

X: Well this conversation is over!

Signas: Then why are we still talking? Let's fight already!

X: I don't know! Something's holding me back! Whatever could it be?

WARNING!

X: Ah, there it is. And because it's there, you are a boss!

Signas: No!

X: Hadouken!

X hurls a giant fireball. Signas dodges! He tries again. It hits!

Signas: Ah, you got me! Now I must die.

Signas blows up.

X: Why must everyone die? Why can't we just get along and not fight?

Zero [via transmission]: X, get you and you're emo characteristics back here. I've got important news.

X: On my way.

At MHHQ…

X: Zero, what's the important news?

Zero: I have done research. Now, my jokes are perfect.

X: Okay…

Zero: Listen to this. Why did the chicken cross the road?

X: To get to the other side?

Zero: What? How did you know my punch line? Darn… I must go and rethink my strategy…

And with that, our heroes clue up for the day, waiting to see what the next one holds.


End file.
